Friday, December 21, 2012

Simpsons scripts and quotes

Simpsons scripts

I don’t need to watch the Simpsons, the scripts are enough to make me laugh out loud.
Here’s some of my favorite Homer Simpson quotes
Homer Simpson says D'oh!
  • Bart, with $10,000, we’d be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like…love!
  • Just because I don’t care doesn’t mean I don’t understand.
  • I’m normally not a praying man, but if you’re up there, please save me Superman.
  • Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet! They’re about to announce the lottery numbers.
  • Well, it’s 1 a.m. Better go home and spend some quality time with the kids.
  • You know, boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like a woman. You just have to read the manual and press the right buttons.
  • Lisa, if you don’t like your job you don’t strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That’s the American way.
  • What do we need a psychiatrist for? We know our kid is nuts.
  • Marriage is like a coffin and each kid is another nail.
  • Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.
  • Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you’re prejudiced against all races.
  • Kill my boss? Do I dare live out the American dream? Homer Simpson:
  • All my life I’ve had one dream, to achieve my many goals.
  • But Marge, what if we chose the wrong religion? Each week we just make God madder and madder.
  • That’s it! You people have stood in my way long enough. I’m going to clown college!
    [ooo—- FSU reference?  ]
  • If something’s hard to do, then it’s not worth doingHomer Simpson celebrates mid-season
(Source: simpsoncrazy.com)

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