Watching the Cubs with Bill Murray

At a stoplight we stopped next to a Mercedes painted the color of mold, driven by a woman in dark glasses with a scarf over her hair. Bill leaned out the window.

"Nice color!" he said. "Hey, I'll bet $10 you just quit smoking and drinking!"

When the light changed, she didn't move. She looked as if someone had just hit her with a cattle prod

and later ....

"Are you Bill Murray or a lookalike?" said a doughy man in the bottom of the second as he walked in front of our seats. Marvel Wynne had just singled. "Are you Duffy Dougherty?" said Bill. He was trying to watch Wynne's lead off first.

Then a guy with maximum security prison tattoos came up and said, "I know I shouldn't bother you, so I'm going to. Bill looked at him the way you'd look at a dead fish on the beach. The man left.

Another man came over and shoved a program in his face. "If I miss one pitch, I'm going to kill you," Bill said. The man laughed. "I mean it," Bill said. The man left.

 From LINK